[EdTalks] Parental Support in High School: A Partnership Guide

Are you parenting a high schooler and trying to find the right balance between providing support and fostering independence? The rules have changed. The old model of academic support from parents is no longer the most effective strategy. This episode provides a modern playbook for supporting high school students as they navigate academics, social pressures, and crucial decisions about their future. We sit down with Jeremy Carrick, a veteran educator and Principal of Carolina High School, who shares invaluable insights on how to guide your child toward success after graduation. Discover the shift from solving problems for your kids to teaching them how to solve problems for themselves.

In this in-depth conversation, Principal Carrick explains why a parent's role has evolved from being a content tutor to a coach for self-advocacy and decision-making. We explore the complex world of modern high school career pathways, which have expanded far beyond the traditional four-year university route. Learn about the 22 different pathways available to students, from dual enrollment and early college programs to career and technology education (CATE). Principal Carrick demystifies the Individual Graduation Plan (IGP) process, explaining that students aren't locked into a choice made in eighth grade and that the goal of 9th and 10th grade is to keep all doors open by achieving good grades. A key takeaway is learning how to help students advocate for themselves, a critical skill for both high school and college. This includes encouraging them to communicate with teachers, utilize tutoring resources, and take ownership of their academic progress using tools like the Backpack parent portal. We also discuss how to implement a "safety net" approach, giving teens the space to make their own choices while providing guidance and a place for reflection. Finally, the discussion covers the various post-graduation pathways available today and why two-year degrees and technical certifications are often more valuable than a traditional four-year degree. This episode is essential for any family looking to prepare their teen for the realities of the modern workforce and foster genuine student independence in high school.

Episode Resources:

• Greenville County Schools Parents' Page

• Learn more about Greenville First Steps

• Learn more about Public Education Partners

Introduction

Mary Leslie Anderson: High school is a time of preparation, both for graduation and for life beyond it. Families play an important role in helping students balance academics, extracurriculars, and planning for the future.

Erin Rigot: We are Mary Leslie Anderson and Erin Rigot with Rooted Consulting, and this is Simple Civics Ed Talks. Today, we'll focus on how families can support their high school students by encouraging goal setting, helping them explore post-graduation pathways, and making sure they feel supported as they take on greater independence. We'll hear from Principal Jeremy Carrick from Carolina High School, who will share ideas from walking alongside students during these critical final years.

Mary Leslie Anderson: Jeremy, thank you for being here this afternoon. We have been talking to principals and counselors about how parents support their children throughout schools, and we're excited to welcome you here as our high school representative today. Why don't you, just for the audience to get familiar with you, give us a little bit about your background.

From Teacher Cadet to High School Principal: Jeremy Carrick's Journey

Jeremy Carrick: Sure, I am a South Carolina resident for a long time. I grew up here and graduated from Fort Mill High School, went to Clemson University, became a teacher. I was actually a teacher cadet product too, when I'm talking the world of education. I was a teacher cadet, didn't even want to go into education until I took teacher cadets and changed my whole career path from engineering to education.

Jeremy Carrick: I graduated from Clemson, went back and was a teacher, a science teacher specifically at Fort High School for seven years. I got a passion for school leadership at that point. I got my master's degree at Winthrop University for educational leadership. I knew that that was definitely the path that I wanted to pursue.

Jeremy Carrick: I moved to the Lowcountry and became an assistant principal at R.B. Stall High School, where I served for 11 years, half of that time as assistant principal, and then the last five and a half years as principal there. And then moved up here in 2022 with the opportunity to lead Carolina High School. So I've been there for the last three years, starting my fourth year at Carolina High.

Erin Rigot: We've spoken with elementary and middle, and now we're on to the high school level. So what are some ways families can support their students once they've reached another transitional time moving on to high school?

Supporting High School Students by Fostering Independence

Jeremy Carrick: A lot of that happens in the household for supporting a high school student. They are growing in their independence. They're having their own ideas and thoughts. But as you get to know adolescents, they still are learning by making a lot of mistakes. As parents, we know they think, I always tell folks, they think they know a lot more than they actually know practically.

Jeremy Carrick: So how do you work within that with a student? As a parent, it's a lot of listening and a lot of conversation and a really non-judgmental listening to your students. What kind of things are you interested in? What are you looking for?

Jeremy Carrick: Where do you want to pursue? What are your hobbies? What do you want to do? It really starts in that kind of a conversation because a lot of school is, when you get to high school, courses that you're going to take, pathways. High school is very specific now. It's not just general education any longer. At Carolina High School, we talked to our freshmen coming in and there's 22 pathways that you can pursue from your freshman year moving on.

Jeremy Carrick: Anything from dual enrollment and technical programs to early college programs to our [Could not verify with context] and career technology. Really that conversation has been working its way down. For high school students, we really start talking about what those interests are. As parents talking about those, because what students really want to do is the foundation for how we advise them as parents and as schools and as counselors. That really is a driving force for a lot of that conversation. So getting to the root of that and helping students figure that out and find their passions and align careers with their passions is a big piece of that.

Erin Rigot: That pathway is so interesting to me. How do they determine which pathway? I know that starts in eighth grade with IGPs. Is that part of the process? When does that really begin and how does that work?

Navigating High School Career Pathways and IGPs

Jeremy Carrick: They choose a cluster in their first IGP in eighth grade. So our middle school parents graduating and moving into the high school level are picking that pathway. And that aligns a lot with the "what do you want to do when you grow up?" conversation. Those are broad clusters, but those start to focus in.

Jeremy Carrick: The cluster decision—education, public service, construction and engineering—we start to find those big directions that they're interested in and try to match that with what their skills are. But then when we get to ninth grade, I tell my ninth and tenth-graders primarily the advice is to give yourself as many options as you can. Do well, make A's and B's in all your classes. Every pathway is going to be open for you because A's and B's in our CP classes lead to honors classes, and A's and B's in your honors classes lead to advanced placement classes.

Jeremy Carrick: So I try to keep it as simple as I can for those ninth and tenth graders as we're figuring ourselves out because even from the beginning of ninth grade to the end of the tenth grade, there are a lot of ideas and changes. We know people get to college and change their major in their second year of college. You're going to definitely change your mind.

Jeremy Carrick: I had a conversation this morning between business and culinary arts. Students are trying to make those decisions that sometimes aren't even really aligned, and you really talk back through it some more. So ninth and tenth grade, pass all your classes, get A's and B's, and open the door.

Jeremy Carrick: Then whatever pathway you choose will open up for you. And hopefully in that tenth grade into eleventh grade, we're starting to hone in on technical college, four-year college, military, if that's an interest, or if we have a desire to go into the workforce. That's where we start really fleshing out and planning out those last two years of high school.

Erin Rigot: Gotcha. So they're not locked in in ninth grade is what I'm hearing.

Jeremy Carrick: You're definitely not. And another way, and a good piece of advice for parents is I tell students, I don't really care what pathway you're choosing today, but you have to be pursuing a pathway. Floating around is not something we're going to do. We're going to choose something and tomorrow you tell me you're going to do something different. Now we're full speed ahead in that direction.

Jeremy Carrick: So just driving them down and sometimes I say, if you had to do something for the rest of your life today, what would you pick? Because having a passion and direction gives the students some context and purpose. High school starts to lose purpose without purpose after high school. So why am I going to these classes? Why am I exerting all this energy and effort?

Jeremy Carrick: For success in high school, we really have to try to connect those dots. No matter what your pathway is, we can draw connections to how success in your English classes, your math classes, activity in clubs and organizations—how those things will benefit the student after high school. The more you can connect that, the more relevance the student's going to see and feel about the high school experience, because it does get difficult.

Beyond Academics: Teaching Students How to Advocate for Themselves

Jeremy Carrick: I want to add on another piece to that question, because parents listening to this are going to wonder, "How do I, in a more practical sense, support my student in high school?" As a parent also of three students through high school, you've probably talked to your elementary and your middle school folks, but come high school time, I'm not really much help for tutoring for the subjects that our students are taking.

Jeremy Carrick: They're taking biomedical innovations. I was a great math student, but I struggled when we started doing algebra with my students because teachers have specific ways that they teach it and students understand it. I knew how to do it. My kids would be like, "That's not how my teacher does it, Dad. You know nothing. My teacher knows everything."

Jeremy Carrick: "Your experience is not relevant." And so parents often, when we get to high school, have that feeling that "I need to still support them academically, content related." And I'd say not at all. I didn't do that for any of my students. I will lie. Chemistry was one of the things that I taught. And I did love teaching some chemistry to my daughter.

Jeremy Carrick: But only one out of three even asked me any questions about chemistry. That was the only area I had content, knowledge, and expertise. So that's very unusual, but parents don't have to help them. What they have to help them do is help them advocate for themselves. Those connections are what's most important. When a student's struggling, often at home, that looks like a lot of frustration and a lot of dislike for school.

Jeremy Carrick: They're saying, "This class is so hard. I really want to avoid it or get away from it." It's really just talking through with your student to say, "What is it that you're actually struggling with there? And how can I help you?" Sometimes for students, it's just helping them with organization, getting assignments completed and turned in. We can all generally generalize those skills and help our students.

Jeremy Carrick: But also just letting them know, "Have you talked to your teacher?" It's the same thing we tell students going into college: meet your professor and get to know your professor. Same thing in high school: talk to your teacher, explain to your teacher if you have time constraints or you are struggling with particular ideas. Are there tutoring programs available? Are there other folks outside of your teacher that you could talk to?

Jeremy Carrick: It's coaching your student through how do they advocate for themselves in a school building full of adults that all do want to help. But there is sometimes that barrier between the students and the adult, especially depending on your student and their disposition. Are they comfortable walking up to an adult and saying, "I really don't understand this"? Some kids are, other ones will say, "I know I'm not going to talk to my teacher." That's just a stretch for them. So you have to facilitate that conversation.

Jeremy Carrick: The parent knowing that can reach out and say, "They really need some help if you could talk with them," or even if there's an administrator or another person in the building that can support that student there as well. I think it's important for parents to know who those people are in the building and make those connections, which an email is perfectly fine. I have parents email me. You can just say, "Hey, Mary Leslie is one of your students. Can you reach out to her? She's having a hard time socially. She's having a hard time academically."

Jeremy Carrick: Especially high school kids don't want that parent-teacher conference. That doesn't need to happen, or an administrator-parent conference. But just saying, "Hey, will you check in with them?" That is just me knowing that parent's really supporting that student. They're giving them some space to try to figure it out. How can I help them out?

Mary Leslie Anderson: You mentioned student advocacy and independence and self-advocacy, really, for the students. What supports do you have at the school that parents can use to help their students with that independence?

Using the Backpack Portal to Foster Accountability

Jeremy Carrick: One of the best things at the high school level is Backpack. So parents and students both, you teach students to look at how they're doing in their classes. How's the semester going? How are your grades looking? And some will just ostrich the situation, putting their head in the sand and pretending that it's not there. Not feeling really great about their work, they don't even want to see the reality of what that number looks like on the paper.

Jeremy Carrick: So as a parent, also be in Backpack, but then help your student work through it. One of my three children had struggled getting assignments completed through high school time. So how do we support them? It is just that not every time a zero popped up on Backpack were they going to get the riot act read to them at home, but that they were checking Backpack and making sure that they were keeping up with that more on a weekly basis.

Jeremy Carrick: You don't want to get too far behind, but sometimes you didn't finish an assignment, and the teacher put the grade in the gradebook that day. If you just come at your student really sternly that first second without getting an explanation, that's where some of that conversation and non-judgmental, "Hey, did you see that they put a zero in for algebra? Have you been keeping up with that?" So Backpack for attendance and for grades is a great tool, so students get very fluent with that at the high school level.

Jeremy Carrick: Which is great because they can check it. I'll ask them a question, and they'll be like, "Check out my Backpack, Mr. Carrick," and they'll flash me their grades. I'm like, "Okay, great." Those are fantastic, those are great skills for them to just be aware, to be on top of it, be aware. And then understanding the other resources that are there.

Jeremy Carrick: Knowing the college version of office hours, knowing to use our after-school tutoring and before-school tutoring programs, which is really just a homework center. It's just giving students extra space and time. Because even with all the teachers in the building, they really need help and support from their individual teacher in most cases, but it does give them a space to ask questions or to even just get assignments completed.

Erin Rigot: So am I hearing you say the students at the high school level should be really pushed to be independently advocating for themselves via Backpack and with their teachers? But if it's a student that may need extra support there, you're hoping parents don't let go completely and that they know their student to help guide or maybe help them learn how to advocate for themselves if they're not one of those students that are ready for that.

The "Safety Net" Approach: Guiding Students While Allowing for Growth

Jeremy Carrick: I'd say all those things we're discussing today are learning those skills. So everything is still with a safety net. We still treat students with that safety net in the high school, not giving them so much opportunity to make any detrimental mistakes. The same thing for parents, you're going to give them some of that leeway. But it's mostly guided through conversation.

Jeremy Carrick: As much as you can guide that conversation to talk about what they want and then talk about potential consequences. So not saying, "You have to do this" or "You're going to do this." As parents, we typically want to say, "You're doing this," but I would say, "Okay, so if we're going to not study for our tests and then we're going to wake up in the morning and try to study before school tomorrow, if we oversleep or if X, Y, or Z happens, what would those consequences be?" That, I don't know how that sounds in your 14-year-old brain.

Jeremy Carrick: There's a 1% chance that goes well and about a 99% chance that it's going to go sideways somewhere in that. But that's just the student's brain developing and rationalizing. So when you can point some of those things out—and we talked about making some mistakes, mistakes will happen—but I'd like to just talk about it on the front end. "This is what I would do in that situation," or "This is how I would handle this," or "Did you consider this?"

Jeremy Carrick: So really leaving that more open-ended, especially as they get into higher grades. I meet with seniors that want to graduate early and are transitioning to college. And I start the meeting with them and the parent and say, "You're not coming here to get my approval or denial."

Jeremy Carrick: "You're 17, 18 years old. You're making decisions that are going to impact your life. And all of us just want to support you in accomplishing your dreams." And so the way that you've phrased that conversation, it's not—they're used to getting approval or "Yes, you can do this," or "No, you cannot do this."

Jeremy Carrick: But those students, especially in later high school years, need to understand, and they do great with that. Students are more engaged when they feel, "Okay, what I'm saying is really going to happen," versus, "Say what you want. Oh no, no, that's not what we're going to do. We're going to do this. You don't know." That disengages a student and stifles them versus them feeling, "Okay, so you're letting me make this decision, and I'm going to then live with that."

Jeremy Carrick: That is a great place for a young adult to start to understand. Again, in your home, in the school setting, still with that safety net there that's there to help them reflect if reflection is needed after.

Mary Leslie Anderson: I love how you worded that with the safety net and the real intention. And I want parents who are listening to this to hear that in your voice, that intentional gradual release almost, and that if they're successful at this, then we've done our jobs—the students making their own decisions and accepting consequences for those.

Erin Rigot: I'm really curious to get your thoughts on how you think high school has evolved over the years into what it is now, especially in Greenville County with all the different approaches and pathways we have for students. I'm just thinking back to our own high school experiences. It looks nothing like when I was in high school. So what is your take on how high school has evolved over time?

How High School Has Evolved: A Focus on Post-Graduation Pathways

Jeremy Carrick: We've responded to what the world has really asked of the high school world, which is we want them graduated ready to go. A big difference is 20 years ago, the major push was that everyone's going to go to a four-year university. Affordability-wise, most people could. And it's gotten exceedingly more expensive over and over.

Jeremy Carrick: So what the workplace and society has demanded is, "I need my student to be ready to go into a viable living wage career without expending $80,000 to $120,000 for a university." And the school has responded in the development of the clusters, development of majors, and increase of certifications.

Jeremy Carrick: I just saw a student that was a graduate from two years ago. She went through one of our career pathways at our career center and did the cosmetology route, completed her certification, and she is rocking and rolling. I saw her just at our football game and I asked, "How's the cosmetology thing?" It's one of those careers we're all comfortable with: W-2 earners. I go somewhere, I get hired.

Jeremy Carrick: But when you meet with them—and she was one that I'd met with going into the cosmetology route—no one pays the bill. You don't get a paycheck every two weeks. You are working, you are selling yourself, you're producing a great product. It's very much a creative type job. And I have the hardest time advising students in that area because you've got to be good.

Jeremy Carrick: So all I try to communicate is someone has to pay you money to receive a service. And if it's not worth it, they're not going to pay for it. She had left with just a Greenville County Diploma and a [Could not verify with context] Certification for Cosmetology. But that's the direction that we're really pushing students, the more and more we can get into the high school level.

Jeremy Carrick: Early college is one thing that we offer at Carolina High School, and our goal is for students to get an associate's degree before they graduate from high school. That still doesn't counsel out a four-year college degree. What it does is save you two years of tuition. So that's what we ask for from the high school.

Jeremy Carrick: So whether it's in the construction field, cosmetology field, or cutting-edge innovation pathways, students are getting exposure, they're getting relevance, and they're getting certification. We've definitely changed from the core math, English, science, social studies focus to the career pathway, the career relevancy. And that's where we're seeing that push down to ninth and tenth grade, figuring out our interests, because there is an advantage to knowing what you want to do earlier.

Jeremy Carrick: There's nothing wrong with figuring it out in that sophomore year of college. But naturally, if it was your sophomore year of high school, we can have you much more prepared and into that for less time and less money, usually. But not every student—students are sometimes figuring it out—but when you know it, we have the tools to help prepare you for it. That's where we really have seen a huge, huge shift. And it is a drastic shift. For parents that are raising high schoolers and middle schoolers and high schoolers now, it does not look like the high schools that we attended. It does not.

Mary Leslie Anderson: And that's something that we should shout out loud in Greenville County, especially: that we have so many opportunities for every student and that whatever path your student chooses is a positive path. There's no one path anymore. There are so many. And that's really important.

Rethinking Success: The Value of Two-Year Degrees and Technical Certifications

Jeremy Carrick: It's not college prep or not college prep, because the latest data shows most two-year degrees have an average higher salary than four-year degrees. So there's not a ranking of better or worse. It's really, "What do you want to do?" If you want to be a teacher, you have a four-year college pathway. That is that pathway. But if you want to be a nurse, there are two-year pathways for a nurse. There's also a four-year pathway for a nurse, but we let the student interest drive what the pathway is going to look like for them because college is too expensive to be just for recreation anymore.

Jeremy Carrick: It is for a purpose. We use that as a means to get to the career path that we want. More and more students hear that career pathway. They hear what they want. And those are great conversations to carry home as well. To talk about what your student wants to do... as much as ever, every student has any opportunity to be whatever they want to be. So encouraging your child and talking through what they see for themselves and their future and that fun and really valuable connection and conversation is a great place to set up your student for success in high school.

Erin Rigot: That is so exciting. As someone who has an elementary student, I am so excited for him to get to high school and have that. And not that I'm rushing it by any means, but for him to have so much student choice. That's the theme I'm hearing here: students get to use their voice and choice and really identify with a cluster rather than a specific pathway that we would have had 20 years ago.

Erin Rigot: As part of that big push of everyone going to a four-year college, I can now see that maybe we have to let go of the narrative we were fed in order to raise our children to help find their voice and choice and pick the pathway that's right for them, whether that's something at the fine arts school or something at a tech school, but just really helping tap into their interests. That's so exciting and again, something we need to praise about what we can do in our district.

Mary Leslie Anderson: Jeremy, if there was one thing that you could say to the public about public education today, what would that be?

A Final Word on the Value of Public Education

Jeremy Carrick: It's one of the greatest values that we offer society for our students to be able to come in. I know every day in a school is not perfect. We all have our bumps and hardships, but the school setting is one of the reasons I love being a high school principal. I love working with teachers. Teachers are my favorite group of people to spend time with. They're a very selfless group that really serves their students day in and day out with heartache and effort and energy.

Jeremy Carrick: And so as much as we can support our schools that are raising and educating and preparing our young people, it's just a great institution that I love to be a part of, and I love to work with teachers, and I love to see our students prepared.

Mary Leslie Anderson: Thank you for being here. We appreciate it.

Jeremy Carrick: Thank you so much.

Mary Leslie Anderson: Thank you for joining us for today's conversation.

Erin Rigot: We're Mary Leslie Anderson and Erin Rigot with Rooted Consulting.

Mary Leslie Anderson: Until next time, keep nurturing school culture.

Erin Rigot: And keep growing strong roots in your community.